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Supreme Dictator Won’t Call Out Fat Chicks

She wasn't fat, it was just this much hanging off the side

She wasn't fat, it was just this much hanging off the side

The Supreme Dictator of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez has suggested that his citizenry lose weight. Chavez smartly only mentioned gordos (fat men) in his speech about obesity. When referring to Venezuela’s female citizens he said,  “I’m not saying fat women, because they never get fat.” He added coyly: “Women sometimes fill out.” [full story]

Meanwhile Chavez has no problem telling the President of Spain he’s a fascist to his face or calling George Bush the Devil in UN speeches.  Or check out a clip from Hugo Chavez’s presidential call-in show, “¡Alo, Presidente!”. He calls Bush a donkey at 0:50 :YouTube Preview Image

Good Morning, Obama! coming soon

Good Morning, Obama! coming soon

Even a despot in complete control of the state’s media, police, and military wouldn’t dare call a woman fat. Order must be maintained, and fat women must always be told they look good. These are society’s rules.

Ironically, dictators are always crowd pleasers. They always tell people what they want to hear, “We’re gonna win the war. No more taxes. The revolution is here. It’s not your fault, it’s the foreigners.”

Chavez always plays the crowd. He sings love songs:YouTube Preview Image

He uses Venezuela’s passion for Baseball to pump up his speeches. He says he gonna beat Bush with a bat. And whose bat is it? It’s Detroit Tigers and Venezuelan hometown hero Miguel Cabrera‘s bat:YouTube Preview Image
Makes you wonder if the Al Gore or John Kerry grew some Hugo Balls, maybe things would look a little different.

Kerry Connects with the Everyman

Kerry Connects with the Everyman

Check out the show he puts on when he visits Russia. Work the maracas, baby!YouTube Preview Image
Hugo Chavez is the Party President! Oooowww!

The CIA staged a coup, political opposition has fought for years, but Chavez knows the truth, don’t tell the truth and people will love you. Tell women they need to lose weight and you’ll have an Angry Fat Lady Army(AFLA) revolution.

The women won’t actually do anything,  they’ll just make their brow beaten husbands overthrow the government. It’ll be the first revolution out of obligation.

“Tell him.”

Man shuffles forward while his fat angry wife looks on,”Look Chavez we gotta ask you to go. Karen is really pissed, I mean you understand. She’s really sensitive about her weight.”

Chavez,”Okay dude, I was wasted. Sorry.”

End Scene. The Chavez Regime has fallen.

For more on why you should hate skinny bitches, Mo’Nique. :YouTube Preview Image

Or read her book:

In this case Evil means: Doesn't breathe heavily while eating a steak.

In this case Evil means: Doesn't breathe heavily while eating a steak.

The isn’t the first time Venezuelan weight has made the news. Below Venezuelan Miss Universe Alicia Machado who almost lost her crown after gaining too much weight.
Alicia "I like Snacks and Dudes" Machado

She's definitely thinking about Snausages.

Donald Trump told Howard Stern she was an “eating machine”. She later fucked Fernando Acaso on the Mexican version of Celebrity Big Brother,  La Granja de Los Famosos(The Celebrity Farm). Bobby Abreu of the Anaheim Angels wasn’t happy because well, he was engaged to her.

For the full video of Alicia Machado cheating on Bobby Abreu [click here] SFW.

Minute 3:45 is when the silly shit kicks in. words, “Tienes una pinga divina.” You have a divine cock.

You never want someone to cheat, but there’s something worse about fucking a guy on reality t.v. who is famous for dubbing over the voice of Jim Belushi.

Now a scene of Bobby Abreu finding out she cheated on him:

Bobby Abreu: Big Brother?

Friend: Nope. Mexican Big Brother.

Bobby Abreu: The Spanish Voice of John Belushi?

Friend: Nope. Jim Belushi.

Bobby Abreu: Jim Belushi! Wow I am a superstar baseball player and she just cheated on me with the human equivalent of Pathmark brand Cola.

Results are in: She prefers the Real American Taste of Esselunga Cola

Alicia Machado prefers the Real American Taste of Esselunga Cola.


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